Girl talk, date nights and sleepovers harmoniously rotated in the background as I paved my future’s foundation. I danced to this melody for years and labeled it Bea’s Greatest Hits. But the music faded as my vision for my future became more defined. Girl talk was replaced with business convo. The more brick I laid, the heavier the business convo. Date nights were threatened by late projects and marketing. And sleepovers – well I probably shouldn’t have had those anyway – but they were trampled upon by rising standards.
Just a year ago, I lived a parallel life with most of my close companions. No one prepared me for the separation I sometimes feel as I continuing building. Instead, familiar faces fade faster than I imagined. I don’t feel as though these friends are against me, but rather cheering me on as I reach new heights.
Think of a racetrack: If you are someone who sees at the glass half empty, you may believe that I’m racing ahead of them. But in actuality, I’ve changed positions. We all use to be spectators in our own dreams. Then I started moving closer to the track, and eventually I was running my race.
Now, back to my building… I am not much of a builder, and no one close to me built something similar before. So this space is sometimes uncomfortable, and I panic or make rookie mistakes. At times, I want to tear down this building and restart anew. Just so I can play my favorite tunes over and over. But I realize that if I do, I will never be able to move from dancing in the same space. And I won’t ever truly feel accomplished.
My reassurance from God is what gets me through. He promised me a life of bountiful blessings, and I stand on his word. It gives me strength to build a more meaningful relationship with Him in the meanwhile. And it keeps me sane. It keeps me optimistic, and overall it makes me more appreciative to be in this place of separation.
It is said, “as one grows deeper and more spiritual we began to look at life with a fresh set of eyes.” This is happening to me. I see things differently, and am learning to embrace the new tunes that play. I think I’ll call them God’s Melody Synced Specifically for Bea.
I call this Destiny’s Revenge because my destiny was revealed to me long before I started pursuing it. I always knew that God’s gift would mean changes in my life, but I never realized it would force a feeling of isolation in the midst. So during this trying time, I hold firm to God’s promise, and I see changes in my life that I never would’ve seen playing those old tunes. It’s nerve wrecking – yet rewarding, and I’m loving God’s Melody better when I think of how much I’ve accomplished just by changing the music.
I guess Destiny’s Revenge isn’t so bad after all.